019 Forgiveness in Christian Marriage

3 minute read that will bless your marriage all week

Happy 4th of July! Praying you get some good quality time with family this week!

I go to Starbucks every Sat and Sunday at 5:30am to finish the weekly message for the church I pastor. Going to public places helps connect the message with what people are really going through.

Thing about going into public spaces is you lose control of what happens around you. So last Sunday at 6am I was in a empty coffee when this guy - Bill - decides of the 24 empty chairs he needs to sit 18 inches from me.

I didn’t have time to talk. I had to get to church and finish the message for the week which was ironically, hilariously titled 🤣, People Matter.

Spiritually I felt I needed to talk to this guy, but physically my time was limited and I had other things going on. After a few minutes I closed the laptop & began talking with Bill, because People Matter. Then kinda oddly he broke out with

I was married 28 years and 9 months my wife died 2 years ago and at some point every day, I cry just a little.

So then here are:

5 lessons from Bill the Widow on Forgiveness:

1. Ask for forgiveness and mean it. I am sorry is 1 thing, asking to be forgiven is altogether different.

2. Don’t harbor past mistakes. After 27 years of marriage, my wife told me everything I did wrong in our marriage. I asked her if she wanted me to share the same. She said, NO!

3. Year 1, I became emotionally attracted to a woman, and I felt so bad that I told my wife. She wasn’t happy but we talked it out, we were honest and I believe because we talked about it rather than keeping it in, she was able to forgive me and we were able to move past it and it never happened again.

4. Stay in Christ. We went through a lot, we made mistakes but we kept Christ in our marriage and we stayed together.

5. and I miss her every day. Don’t stay mad - forgive, make memories, keep learning and growing together.

I have met many like Bill, that realize time was wasted, mad…Let’s forgive, heal and enjoy who and what God has given us - in the time we have. Ability to forgive either heals and keeps or completely strains a marriage. Our English word forgiveness is a combination 2 words/thoughts that have become a inner guide for me to know when I have really forgiven:

For - as used in for-bid, carries the idea of NOT. Give - an exchange

So then to forgive is to no longer exchange the emotions connected to what has happened. So if I say I forgive my wife but still harbor emotions or react to what has happened, I know there is still some work to do on my heart. To be clear, the work is a spiritual work that the Lord does in us.

Read and Pray, through these passages to grow in ability to Forgive.

• He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, ¹⁴ in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. Colossians 1:13-14

• And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, [night want to keep reading through to v15 - whew] Colossians 2:13

• Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

I will be sharing a 5 Lessons for Christian Marriage series all month. Please use social media icons (top of page) to share. See you next Thursday!